perfect as a sunrise…

A beautiful sunrise. What an awesome gift from the Lord and an incredible reminder of our God’s power and creativity. I never grow tired of them.

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This morning, I woke up, had my devotions and then as I finished, I looked out our back window and noticed an especially beautiful sunrise. The Lord has filled the sky with oranges, yellows and reds, streaked from the horizon up to the dark blue sky above. It was like He pulled out His most vibrant colors when He painted the sky this morning. It was breathtaking, literally. I opened the door and could only praise Him for his power and beauty.

“Oh Lord my God,
When I in awesome wonder.
Consider all, the works Thy hands have made.
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy works throughout,
The universe displayed.
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee
How Great Thou Art
How Great Thou Art!!”

As I stood there and praised the Lord, I felt like He whispered in my ear. “You know, that’s not the anything like the beauty I created in your son Timothy.” And that’s when it hit me that while I have tried to keep up the good Christian persona of telling everyone that my son is ‘perfect’ the way he is, in reality I have silently felt differently. Not that I see my son as ugly or horrible, but that the idea of him being perfectly designed has grown distant and faded. Lately, as Timothy has grown and developed, he has begun to show more clear signs of his Down Syndrome. I want to be clear that I have not begun to love him any less, or am any less proud of him than when he fought and struggled so bravely in the NICU. But in a quiet, slow way, I think I began to see his DS as an imperfection in my son. The floppy tongue, the delayed development, the feeding issues, the continued need for oxygen….all tiny little imperfections in my son. Or if I am honest, mistakes in my son. Mistakes made by God. Not that I would ever admit that in public, as that would be sacrilegious in some way, but I think that is how I began to see them. My amazing, beautiful boy, who lives and fights through God’s mistakes. Pretty brutal, eh?

But this morning, God’s whisper hit me like a truck and brought tears to my eyes. I have begun to silently question God’s design and plan. But seeing the incredible sunrise, it was like God showed me that is my precious Timmy. He is amazing, beautiful and breathtaking, but in his own way. He is unlike anyone else, and may be different than what I had planned or even hoped for, but he is PERFECTLY created. Like the sunrise that was created perfectly for THIS morning, my son is perfectly created for his time and purpose. He may not be able to do everything like his sister or brothers, but that isn’t a sign of brokenness or imperfection, but a sign that he was created for something different. And just like I could not know how amazing the sunrise would be last night, I cannot know how my boy will shine in the future. But just like I can trust that the sun WILL rise the next morning, I can trust that my son WILL be perfect for the role that God has him to play. And in that way, he is more perfect than the most amazing sunrise.

(This post was originally posted on the Dad Matters blog page)

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~ by kuiperactive on February 28, 2015.

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