God weeps with me…

god weeps with me

“Jesus wept.”
John 11:35

Growing up in the church, this was always my favorite verse to turn to when one of my Bible teachers or Sunday school teachers would ask us to memorize a verse. Everyone knows this verse because it is the shortest verse in the Bible. I always wondered about this verse and why they didn’t just tack it onto the preceding verse or the following one. Why have a verse that is only two words long? I wondered, but never came up with an answer….until today. And that answer has brought me to tears. Let me explain…

In this passage, Jesus is going from town to town, healing the sick and the lame, and is approached by his disciples who let him know that his friend Lazarus was sick and dying. After waiting two days in his current location, Jesus then turns his eyes to Bethany but tells his disciples that He knows that Lazarus has already died. When he gets to Bethany, he is met by Martha and Mary, who are grieving the death of their brother. When He sees the grief and pain of these two beloved women, as well as their friends and family, Jesus is deeply moved and weeps. He then goes to Larazus’ grave and calls out for him to arise and Lazarus is brought back from the dead and joins his Lord. An amazing passage of healing but also a confusing one. While many people focus on the reason why Jesus waited two extra days before going to Bethany, I have always wondered why the God of the universe wept when He got there. Being omniscient, He knew He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead in just a few minutes, so why did He cry? Why didn’t He speak to Mary and Martha and tell them to not be sad because He was going to bring their brother back? I don’t know about you, but I don’t worry or grieve over a situation that I know I am going to solve. But Jesus wept. This has alway confused me until I listened to a sermon by Judah Smith. In his sermon, he proposes that the reason our Lord wept was because He is a “now God.” He is a God who knows the future and the past, but who lives and loves in the present, in the very moment that we are experiencing. His love is not affected by my past and His love is not affected by my future. His love is with me at this very moment, experiencing and sharing my current pains, joys and trials. He literally is walking with me in my daily life, celebrating with me in my triumphs and weeping with me in my struggles. This is a MUCH more personal God that I have ever thought of before.

For me, this reality has brought me to tears because I now see that He is literally WITH ME, not only physically but also emotionally. As most know by now, this has been a very difficult year for our family and I have shed more tears of grief, frustration and fear than ever before. But I have always seen God hearing my prayers, and of course loving me through it all, but unemotional because He knows how He will move and how things will work out. He has it all planned and in His control, so why would He share my emotions? He knows it will all work out, so why worry or grieve? Wasted emotion, right? But instead, I have a God who literally walks with me through my moment-by-moment pains and who deeply grieves with me when I hit the wall and sob in exhaustion and worry. He KNOWS my pain because He experiences it with me, at that very moment. He has my life, and the life of my precious little Timmy, all in His control, but He loves me SO much that He is a “right now” God.

I don’t know about you, but that reality has changed the way I see my God. When I hit the wall and fall apart, I now see Him sitting with me, crying with me and sharing my pain. I no longer see Him dismissing or ignoring my pain, because He knows how it will end. Instead, I have someone who understands the wide variety of deep emotions that I am feeling, even when I cannot put words to them. I do not see a God who gets frustrated with me when I worry, but who feels and truly understands my pain. And I have a God who will dance and celebrate with me when we have triumphs in the future. Just knowing this gives me so much more freedom to experience the range of emotions that come in waves right now. I no longer have to feel guilty for somehow not trusting God enough, or for feeling doubt and worry when He tells me not to. Instead, I can embrace my day-to-day, moment-by-moment journey and live it fully. Feeling deeply, loving deeply, hurting deeply….knowing that my Savior is feeling it all with me.

Wow, free indeed.

(This post was originally posted on the Dad Matters blog page)


~ by kuiperactive on December 9, 2014.

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